Hopefully all of you will read this entry... for those who read, please tell the rest of them... This entry actually was done in the afternoon, but was kinda of tired due to my sicknes.. but after reading some of your entries, I guess I need to make this effort afterall..

This time round, I am not pretty sure how to talk to you guys face to face.. because some how I guess some of you might think I am sick and didnt even play yesterday yet I am in.. so if I were to talk to you guys, you will feel even worse...

But I want to let all of you know that, I did gone through things like that before... most of you should have seen my juniors who are so much stronger than me... and I can tell you.. or even you guys have witness that saturday.. I was sitting at the timekeeper seat, taking time.. Comparing with my juniors, I am not strong.. I am a weaker person.. and you have read my blog before, you should know that I also did have the thoughts of quitting too.. but again its the passion of the game stops you...

I am like you guys also.. yearning so much to play.. and sometimes you can even feel that you are better than others... and well I talked to my coach before.. and he asked me... what is my strength and what is my weaknes... and he told me what he think of the players who I think I am more capable.. and also about me... and this is when then I realised actually I lose out to them also... I might have a better basic then them.. but at this stage.. basic isnt the criteria anymore... they have strength that I dont have...

Well, I can tell you.. after saturday game.. I cried badly before I went to watch your match... because inside I really so feel like pplaying.. and to do something to the team.. although the members inside are the strongest player... but yet.. you know you really feel like playing.. yes.. thats how I felt... and like you guys.. I gave up hope... I felt upset.. putting a strong front.. but inside I am feeling soooo bad... And from my precvious entry.. you can see.. my mentality in livewire is low also.. because no longer I can take control my mind to train hard... I complain.. I give up.. I cried...

And, another reason why I know I am losing confident in myself was because.. I never thought I will start the game... but my coach put me in the 1st quarter... my very first thought was "s**t im not ready... i am not prepared for it..." but within a few minutes i told myself.. "i am ready.. i am ready.. i am ready" because I know this is my chance already... I have to show to everyone.. though not as good as my junior.. but I need to grab this chance... I cannot wait for the next game when my junior gets to play.. and wiatin for the team to win with a big margin.. then I get in... This is what I want.. so any chance given.. I must be able to grab hold of it... though coach during the match keep shouting to me what I am supposed to do.. I listen and make sure I tried... and whatever he said.. I note it down.. so I know in future I will try to do it...

Sometimes.. alot of things we do, we thought is the correct thing.. but sometimes in true fact is not.. because you didnt see yourself play before.. I thought that the run i make benefit the team, but i was wrong.. i have to be more infront because i am shorrt.. i thought i was close enough to my opponent.. but i was wrong.. coach sees me rather far away from my opponent.. i though asking my team mate to cover up my opponent i should go help, so that when my teammate let go, I can ccontinue from there, but i was wrong.. i should cover for her... i thought running out of space, i should go back to the same place.. but i was wrong because my team mate had already cover that space... and most importantly, i have my own play videoed down when I was in sec.. and when I play it.. i was scolding myself dumb.. why did i make such move.. or when the ball havent even passed down.. you thought you are running at the other side.. but you run to the wrong side... all these are things we cannot see by ourself with our own eyes...

I know girls, its difficult to accept it.. me too.. I am still trying to accept it.. because I love the game.. I love my teammates.. I love my coach.. I love everything... but all these we cannot control.. the only thing we can conrtrol is to keep training hard.. train double hard than those better players... yes.. you might even think that they are soooo far away from you.. so it is difficult to catch up with them... but this is the only thing that we can control.. we cant control how the others play... we cant control what the coach think.. we cant control the weather, we cant cntrol everything.. the thing that can help us and controllable.. is... to keep training hard...

It is still not the end... girls.. really... this is just the selection for the SSS match... its not even for POL-ITE or IVP... POL-ITE is on october.. meaning the selection should be around end of july or august.. so you still have time..

I was really low confident already.. but I was still hanging there. and the moment coach ask me to start.. it did boost a little of confident.. and knowing to grab this chance.. though I think I didnt play that well.. .. i tried to hold this chance.. and sometimes reflect the game.. and think through yourweaknes. and i think i;m oproud of myself.. i was very gan giong the previous match.. but this time.. my passes was much better.. and knowing that if I were to train harder and remember everything that was said by my coach.. and look at those good players.. but it gives me a little hope already at the same time....I still got the chance... so girls.. hang in there.. maybe one day... things would be different?

Hang in there girls.. its difficult.. i know.. but dont give up.. you can do it... While waiting for chance to be given to us.. we try our best.. grab hold the chance when it was given..

Labels: Netball, RP

::18/08/87::
::Leo::
::YNPS, ESSS, RP, SIM-UOL::
::Outgoing, Friendly, Lame::
::Emotional, Sensitive, Short::

::PE Teacher::
::Netball Coach::
::Camp Instructor::

::Netball, Basketball, Running::
::Swimming, Badminton::
::Manchester United::
::Sleep & Slack::
::Green, Orange, Black::
::ES Netball Team, Livewire::
::Buddies, Disciples::
::Shifu(Mr Teo), Hubby::
::Sister & Family::
::Team RP::
::Sesame Gang::
::Piggies::
::MeiNu, Tings, Da Jie::

=PSP=
=All who I love live happily=
=Move on to future=
=Not living in the past=
=Able to learn to accept the truth=
=To be self-discipline=
=Not to repeat mistakes=
=To get gd grades in Uni=

(",)MaStEr_pY; Cindy =); Chee Kui; Jason; Mimiyan; Panda =); Raquel; sIhUa =); xIaOwOnG =) AdEliNe/a> aLeXia; Charmaine; JoEy; JoHnSoN; qUeEn; piGg; sHiReEn; Yan Qing ; Yong Yeow; aBbY; aIzhEn; fAiZaH; hAnAh; jOeY aNg; lYdIa; mJ; sAbBy; sHiKiN; vAn SoH; xUeLi; mIcH; oScAr; bIrD; QiNwEi; RuRy; WeElInG; ~Sister~;

1st Blog; 2nd Blog;

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