This entry, I thnk only pig and kelly will understand.. Maybe Kelly had forgotten about it, but I guess pig will know..

Pig just told me about her decision to study, then I realised about SIM deadline is 31st march, which means I cannot delay my decision again. I need to decide now on what I really want to do.

I know before I started working, I know that I wanted to study. And I thought just try applying all the local university and then see how. But SIM and the rest of the private schools deadline is way before the outcome of local university, I guess I need to think through my decision now.

There is 2 possibilities that is going to happen.

1. I will wait for the outcome of the local university and not applying to SIM. If local university is to reject me then I will have to wait for a year then I will study. By doing this, I will have more money because I am working too at the same time, I can be more clear of what I want to do. BUT, the bad thing about this is that I will lose the momentum of studying, and I might not want to continue to study already.

2. I will wait for the outcome of the university, and at the same time apply to SIM. If any were to accept me or if both accept me then I will just reject what I dont want. Good thing is that at least I know I will be studying this year. BAD thing is that I am wasting money and not just that, I do not have enough time to earn money and pay the fees. And I might not be able to pay the school feeS?

Regarding to the 2nd point is what it is saddening me. Thinking about it again, makes me reallt want to cry again. Deep inside my heart, it really hurts alot. It is like I need not need to go through all these if only HE will stop all these nonsense! I do not know how to tell my mum or my sis of how I feel about the whole damn thing.

Initally, I do not care at all because I wasnt really involved at all. BUT recently I was involved and it now concerns to my future!!! And it is like especially that day when I told my sis my plan, she said this, "my bank now only 2k lers.. cannot gong you go study, maybe only 1 year? haha"

WILL THIS SHIT EVER HAPPEN IF HE WERE TO STOP THIS SHIT LONG AGO!!! Or if other people were to help also!?

Thinking of the other part is that, maybe if I were to study hard and make sure I get a place in local university will also solve the whole thing? But well this is already too late..

But I really hate the feeling! Especially when I was thinking how to tell my mom about my decision? Saying I want to try apply to SIM? And if I were to get in, I will need a lump sum of money? And HE must stop his nonsense@!!I really dont know.. its really very painful when this issue keeps repeating in my mind..

Can I really study this year? Will I solve this obstacle in my heart? Can I really say out to them about how I really feel and how painful it was? Whats my decision now? 2 days to think about it and to solve it...

I really hate HIM sometimes.. WHY WHY WHY!!!???

::18/08/87::
::Leo::
::YNPS, ESSS, RP, SIM-UOL::
::Outgoing, Friendly, Lame::
::Emotional, Sensitive, Short::

::PE Teacher::
::Netball Coach::
::Camp Instructor::

::Netball, Basketball, Running::
::Swimming, Badminton::
::Manchester United::
::Sleep & Slack::
::Green, Orange, Black::
::ES Netball Team, Livewire::
::Buddies, Disciples::
::Shifu(Mr Teo), Hubby::
::Sister & Family::
::Team RP::
::Sesame Gang::
::Piggies::
::MeiNu, Tings, Da Jie::

=PSP=
=All who I love live happily=
=Move on to future=
=Not living in the past=
=Able to learn to accept the truth=
=To be self-discipline=
=Not to repeat mistakes=
=To get gd grades in Uni=

(",)MaStEr_pY; Cindy =); Chee Kui; Jason; Mimiyan; Panda =); Raquel; sIhUa =); xIaOwOnG =) AdEliNe/a> aLeXia; Charmaine; JoEy; JoHnSoN; qUeEn; piGg; sHiReEn; Yan Qing ; Yong Yeow; aBbY; aIzhEn; fAiZaH; hAnAh; jOeY aNg; lYdIa; mJ; sAbBy; sHiKiN; vAn SoH; xUeLi; mIcH; oScAr; bIrD; QiNwEi; RuRy; WeElInG; ~Sister~;

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