Well, for those still waiting for the melbourne blog, I am sorry, I have yet to finish it, because its pretty long entry... initally I dont intend to blog anything before I finish my melbourne entry, but this is really too sad for me which I need to mention it now!

Early morning I woke up, sister told me she couldnt shut down my computer yesterday night. No feeling. I on my laptop, then realised the cursor on the top left corner of the screen. Tried a few times, and nothing can be done, I declared DEAD! Wasnt really upset because I saved most of the stuffs after I bought my new external HDD, and just the day before yesterday I update those stuffs on my HDD also. But, hated myself for 1 thing is, yesterday I was doing my wallpaper, trying to save all the photos and edit to small size and make my wallpaper, I got the instint that I should save that work in my HDD, but I WAS LAZY! And so, today is dead! This was like the 5th or 6th times that my laptop has warned me since the 1st time I had my HDD crashed on me... Usually I keep delaying it, and that was when my 3 to 4 years memories was gone in my 1st HDD. I was very sad that time, and the thought of it set me some sadness too.. that was why I quickly save my stuffs when I bought my external HDD, but yesterday was really a mistake!

Nevermind, remembering myself buying a new HDD last year, and so I searched for the warranty card and receipt! Darns! I didnt send the HDD warranty last year! How I wished I got seagate so that is a 1 to 1 exhcange! But too bad!!!! So now, waiting for HP to see the cost and stuffs... boo hoo!!!

Next, due to that, I was wondering so should I get a new laptop (since the school is selling now) or should I repair it again... I was thinking I have yet to finish 2years and its like I already spend like $3300 on it.. and if I were to sell it away it will cost like only 500 bucks.. so I was really wondeirng should I just buy a new laptop.... I really couldnt make up my mind, asking around, everybody has different point of view... and I asked Mr Teo... and what he said was quite true, if its only HDD problem, then repair it since the rest of it is ok... Actually, to think of it, other than my HDD, I think overall is really ok, but then it keep having HDD problem... but well, just email HP about it, therefore waiting for its reply and I shall see what can be done next... hopefully before Danga Games I can get it done, so that as it was repairing, I am away, no need to think about it...

Anyway, after that its training!... Fuk... it was a very lousy one!!! I am disgusted with myself today!!!! Running the pillar by pillar... run run run, I lost to Mr Teo already... (I was running side by side, but turned out I was far behind him).... after that realised something disgusting happen.. and so went to the toilet... fuking is after I came out.. started running... I was really tired already.. legs soft... then halfway.. sharp pain on my right knee!!!! The very first time that I could feel sharp pain on my knee!!! After that looks alright le... then later on.. before doing drills, I realised my legs are soft!!! Nvm...the next thing that happen is.... I banged onto dar's worm! SHUCKS!!!! SO paiseh can!? FUK IT!!!!! It was like what the hell can!!! Then followed by that, I COULDNT CATCH BALL, COULDNT PASS BALL, COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK MANS!!!!!!!!! I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK LIAO!!!!

After that, this is the worst... I realised my breathing still very hard... and its like... I am starting to realise my chest is damn tight... and I could hardly breathe... when I breathe... I could feel the pain on my chest and the back... and I realised I totally cannot leap infront to catch the ball, totally no strength no energy to do it... I basically SUCKS TO THE FUCKING CORE!!! But I just hang on, not pushing on... and I really hate it... FUCK! Next is the game.. which actually before even has game, I feel like telling Mr Teo, I cannot play... I totally has no energy to go on... but... I carried on.. and I DIDNT TOUCH THE BALL AT ALL!!! How wonderful is that isnt it? I totally sucks... how the fucking hell am I going to play danga on the 7th !!??? How the fucking hell am I to show to Tony I havent slack!? How the fucking hell am I to tell Janelle that we tried our best when ME SUCKS ? How the helll!!!! I am so scared that I am going to perform so badly or even unable to play... damnsssss!!!!! HOW HOW HOW!!!???

I just remembered last beep test, when Janelle told me as I jsut recovered my sickness and it will affect and say I might think this is an excuse but it is true... then well.. if I were to tell myself the same thing now, I guess I cannot forgive myself then.. though I just recovered from my cough, flu and sore throat, but seriously I doubt is affected... and I really do not wish to pull the team down.. and especially when I want to show Tony, I really want to play for the team and stay for the team and fight against NP next year IVP... but.. how am I going to do!!!??? When this training show everything about me already? DAMNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today basically, is just a damn sucky day for me!!! I really hate it... I really hate it... how I wish it was just a night mare? And everything isnt true.. and everything will be fine ? BUt this is all crap!!! Damns!!!!

I really want to play well for Danga Games... I really want to help the team for it.. I dont want to be the weakest link in the team!!!!!!!!!!! I need to train.. but thinking of it again, even if I were to force myself by training with the sec2s tomorrow, and sec2 on monday, and tuesday having a game.. it might not help.. and it might even cause harm.. so what am I supposed to do? Haish!!!!!!!!! Sick... guess... rest and recover? SUCKS! I AM WEAK MENTALLY NOW!!!!!!!!!

::18/08/87::
::Leo::
::YNPS, ESSS, RP, SIM-UOL::
::Outgoing, Friendly, Lame::
::Emotional, Sensitive, Short::

::PE Teacher::
::Netball Coach::
::Camp Instructor::

::Netball, Basketball, Running::
::Swimming, Badminton::
::Manchester United::
::Sleep & Slack::
::Green, Orange, Black::
::ES Netball Team, Livewire::
::Buddies, Disciples::
::Shifu(Mr Teo), Hubby::
::Sister & Family::
::Team RP::
::Sesame Gang::
::Piggies::
::MeiNu, Tings, Da Jie::

=PSP=
=All who I love live happily=
=Move on to future=
=Not living in the past=
=Able to learn to accept the truth=
=To be self-discipline=
=Not to repeat mistakes=
=To get gd grades in Uni=

(",)MaStEr_pY; Cindy =); Chee Kui; Jason; Mimiyan; Panda =); Raquel; sIhUa =); xIaOwOnG =) AdEliNe/a> aLeXia; Charmaine; JoEy; JoHnSoN; qUeEn; piGg; sHiReEn; Yan Qing ; Yong Yeow; aBbY; aIzhEn; fAiZaH; hAnAh; jOeY aNg; lYdIa; mJ; sAbBy; sHiKiN; vAn SoH; xUeLi; mIcH; oScAr; bIrD; QiNwEi; RuRy; WeElInG; ~Sister~;

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