I just felt shitty inside... I dont know how to explain this kind of feeling... this was the first time out of so many times that I am feeling so shit.. maybe because I am going to have my period, therefore just having some mood swing?

Oh well, I dont wish to go into details over here, but well I just hate to start feeling I am being taken granted of already... and sometimes I just wonder who am I in their heart... and sometimes things are getting really damn so out of hand, and so ridiculous... but well, at least I am able to see at least some people still have heart... Anyway, someone please tell me I am just having moodswing.. everything will be fine after today..

Placing them inside your heart, and you just dont wish to lose them... but sometimes you just have to sacrifice so much... is it worth it? Now I really wonder... starting to wonder... Well I guess, in life you just need to sacrifice alot for what you desire, what you love, what you wants so much...

And I supposed, I have chose to sacrifice in the past... and so now, am I willing to sacrifice as much as before? If at the end of the day, I know I am being appreciated, I guess I am more than willing to sacrifice anything.. and so am I?

Oh mans.... starting to realise I am failure in everything... in love, in friendship, in studies, in netball, in everything I do... its just so sick! I shall just state what happen in my love life then... falling for somebody who I know in OBS... we dont talk much though... and its like before Vday, I was telling myself, I hope he is online and so I can talk to him.. but he wasnt... and so I think fine.. its ok... but during Vday.. then when I met Nana at the library for FYP proposal discussion... I saw him! I was shocked out of my life... I asked for a vday present from him.. and he said dont have... and also we talked for quite a while.. I was like.. oh mans... seldom saw him in school and now he appears.. and especially when I was hoping to see him... but well.. too bad... he found his star already... I was like... okies.. fine... good luck...

Before this happen... about a week or 2 then I realised soemthing dumb happened to me... I used to have a hubby... we always joke and play around... and we have been really close... then suddenly dont know of what reason, we 'divorced' and... after that he starts to be rather nice to the girl in our clique... and at times I just felt weird about it.. and I always deny that I like him.. I just feel that all these are just normal kind of feelings... but when I hear the news of them being togethe.. my heart sank...

I really wonder... so who do I like? Maybe both I also dont like? But anyway I hope to find people who like me? Or find people who I like? I guess... dont know... I dont wish to think about this question anymore.. its getting irritating.. and so.. I guess.. for now... no relationship thingy... no moreeeeee.....

Studies... oh well... I am flunking it myself... I am left with like only 1 more year to go... I really wonder what have I done in year 2? I was hoping so hard to achieve more than 3.0... and guess what.. I am going to get like 2.75!? Go university!? Oh.. please dream on it... maybe then its possible... and its like.. going oversea university? I think its hard already... talk to mum about it last year.. and she was kind of disagree upon it.... she wants me to work after graduating... I really hope to go uni... and i dont want to face the ugly world so soon... I wnat to enjoy studying first... but.... will I be able to do that? And its like.. even if I want to go oversea uni... tehres no money for it... and.. so what is it going to happen in the next 1 year? I dont know... complete.. and see how then... hoping to achieve that 1 point for CE and then I really complete what I plan which is finishing up my CE pts during year 2...

::18/08/87::
::Leo::
::YNPS, ESSS, RP, SIM-UOL::
::Outgoing, Friendly, Lame::
::Emotional, Sensitive, Short::

::PE Teacher::
::Netball Coach::
::Camp Instructor::

::Netball, Basketball, Running::
::Swimming, Badminton::
::Manchester United::
::Sleep & Slack::
::Green, Orange, Black::
::ES Netball Team, Livewire::
::Buddies, Disciples::
::Shifu(Mr Teo), Hubby::
::Sister & Family::
::Team RP::
::Sesame Gang::
::Piggies::
::MeiNu, Tings, Da Jie::

=PSP=
=All who I love live happily=
=Move on to future=
=Not living in the past=
=Able to learn to accept the truth=
=To be self-discipline=
=Not to repeat mistakes=
=To get gd grades in Uni=

(",)MaStEr_pY; Cindy =); Chee Kui; Jason; Mimiyan; Panda =); Raquel; sIhUa =); xIaOwOnG =) AdEliNe/a> aLeXia; Charmaine; JoEy; JoHnSoN; qUeEn; piGg; sHiReEn; Yan Qing ; Yong Yeow; aBbY; aIzhEn; fAiZaH; hAnAh; jOeY aNg; lYdIa; mJ; sAbBy; sHiKiN; vAn SoH; xUeLi; mIcH; oScAr; bIrD; QiNwEi; RuRy; WeElInG; ~Sister~;

1st Blog; 2nd Blog;

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